Dec 4

有关《向前一步》Lean in的讨论

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@Frances Chen

@Frances Chen

2015/12/4:《向前一步》Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg and Lean in Circle

Time: 2015/12/4, 12pm-1:30pm

Topic:

– Lean in by Sheryl Sandberg

– Lean in circle (http://leanincircles.org/)

分享总结:

  1. The leadership ambition gap

Observation:

  • Fewer women wants to reach c-level position; Fewer women are in leadership positions than men with similar education background.

Reasons behind:

  • Women are not traditionally encouraged to exhibit traits such as advocating oneself and taking risks, which career progression heavily depend upon.
  • Women are not ambitious enough.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Encourage ourselves and our daughters to take risks. Compared to men who are more often the primary bread winner in the family, women should give ourselves more room to take risks.
  • Always remember to advocate ourselves, our gender, our culture, our community and our society.
  • Ask for and apply for promotion when you think you deserve it. Good job itself doesn’t naturally lead to reward and recognition.
  • Find ways to make your value and hard work recognized by your team and manager. Regular presentation and work summary report are good practices.

 

  1. Confidence

Observation:

  • Both men and women are susceptible to the imposter syndrome (capable people plagued by self-doubt), however women tend to experience it more and their career get impacted more.

Reasons behind:

  • Men appear to be more confident than women in work places. Women think they are qualified to take on a higher position only when they feel they are 100% qualified. Men think they are qualified to do the job when they are 60% qualified.
  • Women often judge their own performance worse than it actually is, while men often judge their performance better than it actually is.
  • Women attribute success to external factors such as team work, luck, and help from others, while men attribute success to their innate qualities and skills.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Sit at the table in team meetings. Don’t sit in the second row.
  • Find ways to build and increase self-confidence.
  • When we do self-review, give ourselves a little boost on ratings.
  • Remember how awesome and great we are every day. Remind ourselves of all the great accomplishments we have made thus far in our lives.
  • Sometimes we need to be more “thick-skin”. Don’t let negative feedback affect our confidence level.

 

  1. Success & likability

Observation:

  • Heidi and Howard are essentially the same person except one being female and one being male, however Howard seems to be a much more likable person than Heidi.

Reasons behind:

  • Social norm & stereotype: “Smart like daddy, pretty like mommy”.
  • On certain level stereotype of women is actually worse in the US than in China.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Don’t take comments such as “she is aggressive” as negative feedback.
  • Ask yourself: is your goal in career to be more likable or more successful. Sometimes as women we might have to sacrifice likability for success.
  • Do things because you want to, not to please others.

 

  1. It’s a jungle gym, not a ladder.

Observation:

  • Many times successful person reach their current status not by following pre-defined steps. Career progression is more like playing in a jungle gym than climbing a ladder.

Reason behind:

  • You can’t plan for everything.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Sometimes you have to take a detour to get to your final destination.
  • You might uncover hidden treasure by taking on new opportunities that are not what you have planned for yourself.
  • If someone offers you a seat on the rocket ship to the Mars, take it.

 

  1. Family & work: Don’t leave before you leave

Observation:

  • Sometimes women plan for life changing events (getting married, relocation, having a baby) way before they actually take place, and what’s worse, they mentally check out way before necessary.

Reasons behind:

  • Women tends to “worry” more and plan more.
  • Society cheers more for women to take on family care responsibilities than for men.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Don’t leave before you absolutely have to.
  • Lean in instead of lean back.
  • Don’t stop taking on challenges, risks, and new tasks because of anticipation of upcoming family responsibilities.

 

  1. Make your partner a real partner

Observation:

  • You rarely see a fifty-fifty split of household tasks between man and woman in a family. Women usually takes on more household tasks, child care and family care tasks more than men.

Reasons behind:

  • Social norm and stereotype.
  • Society cheers more for men to advance in career than for women.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Make your partner a real partner.
  • Encourage positive behaviors from your partner.
  • Educate our next generation (boy or girl) with this notion in mind. We shouldn’t contribute to or encourage social norms/stereotypes.

 

  1. The myth of doing it all

Observation:

  • Working women are struggling to be the perfect mom.
  • Working moms feel guilty for not being there all the time for their children.

Reasons behind:

  • Society believes mothers are the best caretaker of theirs of their children. Women feel their absence or not being to do all might lead to negative impact on their children’s future.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Studies have shown that “exclusive maternal care was not related to better or worse outcomes for children”. Encourage your partner to take on child care responsibilities.
  • You might not have as much influence on your children’s behavior as you might think, so it’s ok that you are not able to do it all.
  • Set boundaries on what you can and can’t do.
  • Delegate tasks.

 

  1. Sharing emotions

Observation:

  • Most women believe that it’s not a good idea to cry in work place. Sharing emotion too openly might negatively impact your career.

Reasons behind:

  • Some people perceive tears as a sign of weakness.
  • From a manager’s perspective, an angry male colleague is easier to handle than a crying female colleague.

Behavioral change tips:

  • Women are emotional in nature. We need to learn how to control our emotions better in work places.
  • As managers, show sympathy and support. Treat sharing of emotion as display of authenticity in personality.

 

  1. Looking at the bright side
  • Being a female engineer has many good sides too, such as the sense of pride and fulfillment from work.
  • There are many strengths being a female engineer that we can leverage:
    • Interpersonal skills & planning skills
    • Organizational skills
    • Good at multi-task
    • Easier to find synergy and motivate team to do a better job.
    • Might be easier to communicate the “hard-to-work-with” kind of coworkers as female.
    • High-quality technical skills as female Chinese.
  • We need to be aware of our strength and advocate ourselves more on these aspects.

 

  1. Lean in circle
  • Visit leanincircles.org
  • Join a circle yourself.

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